Teen Room Chaos Gifts

Abandon all hope ye who enter here,

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Awesome!'

"I thought I'd go slowly - maybe start with a few stuffed animals in the corner."

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Young man, either you remove your hand from under her sweater or I will remove it your arm.'

Gotta babysit. Too bad! Tap tap. The worst part is the first! Subduing little monsters? Tap tap. No

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

"How's your spring break going, Jerry?"

Forget Ryan Beardsley. Why? I'm so on his wave-length! He's way into the environment. No way! He's talking to the principal about recycling. Office. Indeed. If reusing Sally Sipe's English paper counts as recycling.

"You're about to enter a semi-autonomous region of this house."

"Quick, make a mess. Company's coming."

"I kept dropping my phone and cracking the screen. So, my parents bought me a thicker cover."

Our poor daughter doesn't have a prom date. Mo-om! I'm going with a group, of friends. No one "dates." Then I don't need a shotgun? Da-ad! I'll never get a boyfriend! Good. I heard that.

A 'Life is Sweet!' Moment

"When I told you to change your socks... I didn't mean from one foot to another!"

"Baldo, I'm sorry! Tia Carmen's friend Maria left this book here by accident. Silly me, I thought it was yours! Ha ha ha!"

I thought I told you to straighten your room. (Originally published on 2008-01-08).

"Both of you are rotten and hateful—from a kid's perspective."

'Assault on Mount Stinky...now that's a big adventure.'

"Did you hear? A bunch of girls went through our neighborhood last night shoe-polishing our cars."

"Cheer up. Your dad had so many pimples in high school, we played connect-the-dots on his yearbook photo."

'It feels like days!'

'It's not fair!'

You're not going anywhere, young lady, until you pick up your room!

"Dude, you're room's a mess! Gross! Is that your underwear?"

"Baldo, what would you do if there was a girl who never left you alone?"

'Hello Childline... my parents just don't rock.'

"I'm organising a collection in aid of the kitchen...would you care to make a donation?"

Geez, mom, it's clean! Why does it always have to be squeaky clean? Mighty mouse.

"This isn't the lived-in look. It's the wallowed-in look."