Teen Niece Prints

"Sure, Dad, I'll get right on my homework. Soon as I email Stacy, Oh, and I have to text Julie, Sara, and Toni. Oh, and I have to post today's pictures on my blog, and. . ."

'Vocabulary doesn't seem that hard 'til you start trying to use it on girls.'

"Maybe you need some kind of app to make it work."

"Don't think of it as being grounded. Think of it as suffering the consequences of your monumental stupidity."

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

'I don't care if all your friends are doing it. Your piercings are really starting to freak out your mom and me.'

Born to Hug

'At least hanging around street corners reminds us we're at a crossroads in our lives.'

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

'My parents think I never listen.'

"Okay lets go. You can message your friends after dinner."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Robot Parts $5

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Skipping Horse

Remote control pirate bully

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

At the Museum

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Wildlife

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."