Teen Conversationalist Pillows

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

When it comes to texting, she's all thumbs.'

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

"Hi, it's me. My mum's confiscated my mobile." (Kid talks to friend using margarine tub and string).

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"I'm still very impressed by natural intelligence."

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

'It says, the higher a man's I.Q., the longer he's a virgin... well, bud... here's your Nobel Prize nomination!'

"My computer doesn't understand me!"

'Whoa, Buddy, I think you've had enough...'

'Great lunch box.'

'We're rich! We're rich! My mum's got goldstones!'

'I take after my Daddy - He's a confirmed batchelor!'

'Copy and study this list of text message spelling words. We will have test tomorrow.'

"Do you play?"

'Yes that's right I ordered 2 doubles. Why, did you want a drink too?'

'I'm not writing 'gifts optional' on your birthday party invitation again this year 'cause no one got you a gift.'

'I've been thinking about this whole Santa thing.'