Tee Time Sage Pillows

'Be careful about distracted driving.'

I should probably get out more.

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

Golf lessons

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

The Amateur Golfer

'He lived and died for golf.'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"I got my emotional baggage down to a little carry-on."

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"

"Is this the home that needs an exorcism on a gamer?"

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

Old man plays golf, supported by his caddy and paramedic.

"Do you even care about evil anymore?"

Golf

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

'You're away, Doc!'

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

'What a divot?'

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

Welcome to Fairway...The town with 536 holes of golf!

Thanks God!

There Are More Things To Life Than Golf...But I Ignore Them. There are more things to life than golf...but I ignore them.

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

'Yes, it's a very interesting show, but we really need to talk about all the time you waste watching it - perhaps during the next commercial break.'

Golfer couple just married

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

"Mind if we play through?"

King of the Swingers.

'You don't have to shout fore when you putt.'

"Yes, you can see the chairman this afternoon - have you ever done any caddying before?"

'You're consuming way too much sodium. Read the story of Lot's wife, and come back next week.'