Tee-shirt Tactician Pillows

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

Golf lessons

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"Finally...it's here! Only the best $20 I've ever spent!"

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

Human males marking territory.

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"I have the new list of approved tweets."

Snooker.

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

Colin had finished the 'One Minute Manager' and was now practising the 3467 minute tea break.

Barrister uses legal speak to ask for two sugars in his tea.

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

I've left your pin on the map, but I've loosened it.

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

"Isn't it about time you tidied up around here...?"

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

"I haven't been in any academic journals but I do get my Tweets re-Tweeted a lot."

'The pro said my swing was out of this world.'