Technophile With Humor Pillows

The hermit has relocated...

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"You are still here."

"Have a seat with the other candidates for the tech position but be wary of the spit balls."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

"The record player is skipping again."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

'Did you keep a back up in the cloud?'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

Jack-in-a-box popping out of a computer monitor.

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

'To explain this extremely complex new imaging system, we've brought in Chuckles.'

Don't use your dog's name as a password

"'Page Not Found' always sounds a little 'careless'. Maybe we could replace it with 'Page Temporarily Engaged in Promoting Alternative Client Focused Services'."

"Frankly, you seem a little fleshy for our team."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

Security Alert in the Paperless Office. . . .