Techie With A Humor Pillows

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Hiding the electronics.

Screen Time vs Book Time

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

Chef copy robot

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

'When I said that I needed a new mouse...'

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

'Now where's my Tibbles got to?'

"Have a seat with the other candidates for the tech position but be wary of the spit balls."

I've always been slower than computers...

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

"That guys is stealing my data!"