Technology Tussler Gifts

Man with no username.

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

Musical Fight

'Sir, there's a taxpayer who knows his rights, to see you.'

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

Tug the Toggle

'I have all our acorn storage spots geolocated on my smart phone...'

"I can't...I mustn't...I shouldn't...I needn't....but I will."

Ugh, you go ahead – I have five months of emails to catch up on.

'It's great to get back to the simple life,'

"I'll call you back. I'm in the middle of a make-over."

'Fighting broke out today in Silicon Valley between PC aficionados and Mac owners...'

"Why is it okay if they deliberately leave it down, but if we accidentally leave it vertical it's an unforgiveable sin?"

'I would've been ready earlier but after replying to email, checking cell phone messages, and adding Myspace friends, I forgot who you were.'

Zorro repairs his trousers.

'We can't keep up with technology because we don't like change. That's one reason we've been married for 25 years.'

Colin was still struggling to get his head around how online dating worked.

Branson vs Murdoch.

'No wonder he never forgets. He has a bubble memory with a storage capacity of 360 megabytes.'

"Mom, shouldn't you take something more nourishing for lunch than your Blackberry?"

Drat! I forgot my password again!

Spaghetti Eastern

'You are where you are.'

Information superhighway/historical route.

'Dad cant help me with my homework. He's a technophobe.'

Chimney sweeps.

Randy "The Rock" Taylor's new unified theory of picking up chicks: You've got 20 seconds to get her attention before an email, text, phone call or tweet interrupts. Hey babe. I've got huge biceps, a sweet hybrid with fold-down seats and an iTunes collection with the year's hottest smoochin' music. Beep! Hold that thought. I've got an incoming call. Interesting. Make that fifteen seconds! Pardon? Were you talking? Wait, incoming text.

'It's not easy to eat breakfast, text, conduct a conference call and drive at the same time...but I did it!'

"What is the problem with you and the octopus!?"

Self-Quarantine Derangement Syndrom