Technology Transition Gifts

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

Bookshop: Closed, Coming Soon Here Internet Cafe.

"That's O.K., Dad. I think I'll do with the ambient waterfall sounds tonight."

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

Old year sits by 'Out' box, and new year sits by 'In' box in office.

'Ms. Haskell, as we transition to paperless, do you think I should carry a briefcase or laptop...or both?'

'Meet Charles, the office 'old-timer'. He's been hangin' around stock tickers, water coolers, copy machines, and now laser printers for 40 years!'

'And this is where they switched to High Definition.'

"You have reached your destination (for the 4th time tonight, I might I add?)"

Man from 'Printing Industry' riding on the speeding computer

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

'Before computers, son, we were nerds who shuffled paper.'

"I like you and all, but I normally only date guys that stare down at their cell phones."

Man throwing out his outdated TV set.

"Listen, Mom, I'm not your little girl anymore."

"He's so used to someone carrying his files."

Newly Non-Mega-Rich

After 15 years Mike was released

"Yes very good, but have you consider a role in cyber?"

The Cowards Way Out.

'Replaced by analytical software. I should have seen it coming.'

'Thank's for your patience as we transition to electronic filing. . . Mrs. McGillicuddy.'

Text As A Second Language

Lost job due to downloads. Please help.

"Your lease is up" threatening letter.

'You're lucky. When I was a kid, we had to walk all the way over to the set to turn it on.'

'Not again'

"Computers always make me feel like an incandescent bulb in an LED world."

'We've got to digitalise our records...unfortunately Colin has most of them written on his arm.'

"Everything else is great. I'm just saying... a little advance notice would have been nice."