Technology Trainer T-Shirts

"No, that's 'Gilligan's Island.' You want to withdraw cash. Hit cancel and try again."

"I've got your visual studio software here..."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

The Computer Bore

Jack of all trades

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Any questions?"

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

"Any questions?"

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

Early cyborg.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

The Not-So Smart Meter

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

Congratulations on your retirement!

Hanging off every word...

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Quality Control

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

'First of all, relax.'

High speed cinder block

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

Battery Lighthouse

"And this is one of our most poular models..."