Technology Guru T-Shirts

"I was trying to send a text message, but I think I bombed a terrorist camp with a remote control drone."

'And this is from our new line of self-driving, self-deprecating cars. It has a perfect driving record and it won't brag about it.'

'Of course I'm hurt. You didn't answer my text!'

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

'I guess this marks the beginning of the prin-ting dynasty!'

"Since we have spell check, what's the point?"

Caring for the phone

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

The Computer Bore

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"Any questions?"

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'Here's MY information highway!'

Evolution.

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

e-shoes

Walking Luggage.

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."