Technology And Crime Observer T-Shirts

Post Office: "All done. I've transferred ?40,000 to your bank account."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"Would you relax? They never look up."

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

Before the riots/after the riots

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

Holding the Line Against Terrorists with Midrange IQs

"C’mon, Sara. Like you wouldn’t consider – even for a second – accepting an iPhone from the devil."

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."

'Apparently 'executive assistant' is just a fancy term for scapegoat.'

"I'm starting to miss the summer people. It's been weeks since I glowered."

I got them to drop the corruption charges, I bribed them.

'Before you come in for the interview, you might want to check our website.'

'He'll be alright Sir, once he stops being afraid of the dark.'

Cyber Terrorism

'Yeah, neighborhood crime. That's what I watch all the time 'cause our TV is broken.'

Skinny P. monitors the compliance of social media standards.

Call Your Mother- $2.00

"Even this wouldn't have been enough to keep the youth from their smartphones."

Annals of Technology: The first crude drinking straws appeared in ancient Egypt around 1200 B.C.

Welcome signs 'Pinefalls, pop 186, plus 3 atheists we don't like to mention'

"Ever wonder what goes on over there?"

"Riley doesn't bark. He tweets."

'You're trying too hard. That just scares them off.'

'Ever feel like the screens get bigger but the entertainment doesn't?'

'I think I like sitting here instead of in our back yard better. . . it's more interesting seen' what everybody's up to on our street. I guess we're just people persons.'

The Six State Solution

'Good morning, Madam! You have been specially selected by computer to be burgled.'

"We know you're in there, Morgan. Open up, so we can discuss the conflict between the social factors of the mainstream and of your subculture that led to your following this negativistic path."

"Our capital investment budget wouldn't stretch to replacing you with a proper good robot."

"You say I need to start using a slower speed?"

Handy Pre-made Notes for Modern Life

'We don't get any channels, but we pick up what's going on in 79 neighborhood homes.'