Street Crime Observer T-Shirts

'You're trying too hard. That just scares them off.'

'Can you see what's causing the hold up?'

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

"The end of my favorite series is near."

Before the riots/after the riots

Domestic Spying Drones

When the Job Market Shifts, Always Remember That It's All Your Fault

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

You trip on it, you buy it.

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

Down on Bourbon Street...

The world of surveillance.

Will Kill For Food

You Know You're Old When...

Street: The Magazine for Homeless People

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

"Since I no longer trust the media. I get all my news from hysterical people on the street."

"Would you be willing to participate in a brief survey following this transaction concerning customer satisfaction?"

Anthropologist presenting his findings in New York City

'I turned the corner and hit the tree. It was all over in a matter of hours.'

I got them to drop the corruption charges, I bribed them.

65. Whenever I'm in the mood to watch the rest of the world go by, I simply keep to the legal speed limit.

'From up here they look like us.'

Pedestrian parking only.

"Hi! It's me...I've gone off the rails"

'He'll be alright Sir, once he stops being afraid of the dark.'

"And then one day I realized I'm just gonna have to settle for liquid courage."

"... But he was just about to hand it to me before he keeled over!"

Snail Peephole

Crossing the Road

Drive Thru Police Station

'Accelerate! Coffin Dodgers Crossing.'

'Yeah, neighborhood crime. That's what I watch all the time 'cause our TV is broken.'

"Most people are too busy working to make any real money.''

"Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?"