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Annals of Technology: The first crude drinking straws appeared in ancient Egypt around 1200 B.C.

"Would you relax? They never look up."

Your Future Home.

Fear of news.

'This is suppose to be progress.'

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

Made redundant from Honda please help

'Sorry for calling them 'graphics', Mr. Burke. I meant the 'colored pictures'.'

Fries with that Burgers: 'I lost my job to robot in Japan.'

Holding the Line Against Terrorists with Midrange IQs

'Soulless fruit flies are the nanotechnology of the fear industry.'

"I'd like to make a return."

Man Wrapped In Film

"I'm trying to find a new element."

"Let's give those new bulbs a try."

"I'm leaving a one starfish review of this tank on Yelp."

Parent and child enter library. Sign says, '30 minute time limit on the internet. Unlimited amount of time on books!

'Before you come in for the interview, you might want to check our website.'

"It's an audio guide, sweetheart, not a remote."

"This is not what I meant when I said you kids could have more screen time!"

"Okay...am I downloading the upgrade, or upgrading the download?"

Call Your Mother- $2.00

You know you're getting old...when your mobile phone rings and you start taking photographs of your ear.

Somehow, she knew she'd fooled nobody.

Skinny P. monitors the compliance of social media standards.

"He's so used to someone carrying his files."

3D HD TV

"Even this wouldn't have been enough to keep the youth from their smartphones."

'What's he laughing at? Doesn't he listen to the News!'

Triple Horror Feature: The 6 O' Clock News

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

Watching astronauts from home

Kremlin's Propaganda Weapon

"I was a truck driver and delivered diesel to gas station. My boss had to declare bankruptcy - he could no longer pay the diesel for our trucks."