Technological Irony Fan Pillows

"If I get this phone completed, fire will follow."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Time Machine Collision

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

"He was much more effective in the field."

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

"It appears you have a virus."

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

"We don't share your information with anyone. Plus, nobody listens to us anyway."

Sugar Machine

Ingoldsby Legends - Impious Bishop Robert of Birchington

It's my manifesto on living "off the grid," mainly compiled from my blog, tweets and Facebook posts.

Everything will look perfectly flat...in your Realtek 2D glasses.

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

'Maybe we should get into high-tech.'

'The poor shlubb -- his country still only has dial-up.'

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

'Judging by that old fashioned light bulb, your idea must be outdated.'

Man: 'What the...?!' / 404 ERROR!

Selfie Extension Stik

Canadian Visa Application

'I warned you that it wasn't user friendly!'

"And I'm telling you you've got the wrong pole."

Scandal about listening on Facebook

'Soccer hooligans, majesty! Thousands of them! We're doomed!'

Manual automation in the office.

The man who discovered human error...

"I remember when 'family time' meant everyone staring at the same screen."