Technological Bibliophile Gifts

'It was a real scroller. I couldn't put down my screen.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Edgar Allen Poe

The Dorrie Decimal System

Honoré de Balzac

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Screen Time vs Book Time

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Literary Canines.

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

"Barb's such a fast reader."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

Litterary Dogs.

'Read that last part back to me.'

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

Cook in the cookery section.

"Grandpa, how did you ever survive without apps?"

A man and his dog both reading.

"Nevermore."

'It's very fast-paced. The book was over before I could finish reading it.'

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Spoiler alert...Z."

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement