Techie Watcher Gifts

You're watching tv on a laptop?! That's so stupid. Watch it, windbag. You're talking about the latest big thing, tone of great programming available for free on the internet. Really? It looks to me like a bunch of skateboarders running into things, and dogs doing tricks. You and your internet are total losers! War.

'D'you ever get that uncanny feeling we're not being watched.'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

The DaVinci Code

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

If nobody had invented graphics

Elfie Stick

"Would you relax? They never look up."

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

Tree house.

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Bot Art: After da Vinci

Big screen TV falling through floor

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'Och lye the news'

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

"I don't know what I want, but I do know what I don't want, and I won't know one until I see the other."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

'It says, 'Life is like a transistor.''

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

"In the spirit of co-operation, peace and friendship with the people of Earth, we welcome Captain Zork and his incredible advanced weapons technology..."

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

'Take me to your computer.'