Techaggravation Pillows

User-Unfriendly

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

I should probably get out more.

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

Second lifeReal life.

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

The whole family can't wrench a teen away from his computer.

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

Haven't Rented a Game in 2 Weeks.

The Final Chapter.

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

'I don't know about this new computer inventory system. It just ordered a thousand left handed four fingered surgical gloves.'

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

Page from 'How to Draw' by Albrecht Durer

Information Security

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

'It seems that their databank has all the information that's in our databank, plus information that's not in our databank, plus information about our databank.'

"Damn, I forgot to create the 'control-Z' command."

"Have you tried turning it off and on?"

"This is where I keep my entire music collection."

"I worry about the parents when I'm off to college. They're totally dependent on me for IT support."

"You probably don't need to write 'sorry for the delayed reply' every time, Natasha."

"This is the future of logistics. Thanks to our new technology this parcel can miss-send itself to somewhere in Kazakhstan."

'It isn't that we don't have high technology. We don't have any technology.'

The Emperor's New Followers

"Ooh, this looks nice. Would you like to go for a scroll?"

'Roll on the stoneless office.'