Tech Trouble Tacitician Gifts

Lost your files - Get a good lawyer.

"My email is down... talk to me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Careful! He knows computers."

“Someone is not muted. I'm still hearing ambient noise. Please mute your device.”

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

Board Game Hunter

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

It was her last day so Mary decided to find out something that had bugged her for years: what the button with the skull & crossbones was for.

"Mrs. Beetle, Marty's screen is frozen, again."

"No, not that button!"

'Sir, I've got a computer to avoid a giant mess but unfortunately I can't find the computer in this giant mess!'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

Buy on-line - Fill in form, Fill in form again, And again, Lose form, Fill-in form a few more times, Give up and go to shop...

'And now over to Mike for the video presentation...Mike?...Mike?'

Cat on Computer Keyboard.

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'I did my homework on my computer and before I could print it, it crashed.'

"Don't embarrass me again, spell-checker."

"I.T. says these new laptops they gave us come loaded with all the latest viruses."

Explosion - "About the computer, try to remember the last three keys you pressed."

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

"You idiot. How many times have I told you not to text while flying?"

'The dog ate the flash drive with my homework on it...but I hope to get it back real soon!'

"My goodness, Gurkenham! This is the worst case of identity theft I've ever seen!"

Error: Out of memory.

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'