Techie Troubles Gifts

Computers. Tablets. Laptops. The model is entirely voice-activated. I've always wanted to tell a computer "off."

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"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

Ezra's purchase of an off-brand gps device meant he'd never get the chance to make his horse drink,

Computer Frustration

"Woke up this morning, forgot my apple id..."

"The pilots are trained on all the plane's technology, but they're still having a hard time with the backup camera."

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

God creates humans.

'I think Phillips has a short circuit in his smart phone.'

'Eiter global warming is accelerating, or my Google map with climate information is malfunctioning.'

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

"I'm sorry to trouble you yet again with internet issues."

'Try rebooting.'

'Other than the hatchet I don't know what could be wrong with it.'

'computer says no.....el!'

A businessman suffering from data overload.

"I'm telling you my computer is making an obscene gesture!"

When computers are attacked by Spam.

'True, we don't give out personal information, but every once in a while, the computer takes it upon itself to spill the beans.'

"We usually shop in the comfort of our own home but the bloody computer crashed."

Streaking makes a comeback, but nobody notices.

"Look mate, I keep rebooting and nothing happens!!"

Internet crap.

PC spits mud out

"Apparently, it wasn't a figure of speech when he said his computer locking up made him so mad his head was going to explode."

"What a time for it to go on the bunk!"

Divorce lawyer "Then it's final, you get the computer as you requested and your wifes gets the house, car and everything else"

"Tom..Tom, you promised not to flame my parents..."

'Have you considered buying a new computer?'

Unknown computer error.