Tech Triumph Seekers Gifts

'The wheel was great. What have you done for me lately.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

"This next one is a typical blues number about exceeding your data plan limit, cracking your ipad screen, and losing your new ear buds."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

"Got some bad news for you, Larry."

"Problem?"

"We met online, it was love at first site."

'Oh, we haven't used a crystal ball in years.'

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

"Huh, I've spent weeks trying to figure this out, and all I had to do was push that little button. She's on now though boy! Look at her go!"

"Someday, God willing, they'll bring the stars down to our eye level so we don't have to strain our necks."

"I'm sorry to trouble you yet again with internet issues."

"Great news! Scientists have cured many, many diseases!"

Fisherman with tiny catch

I hate blind carbon copies when the computers are down.

'I see the printer is acting up again.'

Early critics.

"The fact that you're writing your presentation in giant letters makes me think you still haven't figured out how to use a PowerPoint presentation."

'Binary' monk demonstrates computer skills.

The smartphone app learning curve

“Something’s wrong with my android.”

'Lord...what's the meaning of my life?'

"I have an app that alerts me when I'm delusional about be able to afford a property."

'I'm afraid keeping up with digital technology has finally taken its toll.'

'How could Plato write The Republic with a quill pen on parchment when I can't write a memo with a deluxe computer?'

"If it makes you feel better...I usually don't understand what I'm doing either."

'Digital-Age Mirage.'

"I hope by the time I'm old enough to have kids, they'll be self-cleaning."

'Michael, go in there and help your father before he throws another tantrum.'

'We're only ten tech support calls away from another free pizza!'

"To return to the original menu say say 'Goddam son of a bitch!'"

"The wonders of technology always keep me wondering."

Cyber Crime.