Tech Translator Gifts

It's a binary code based on rocks and sticks! (Published previously on August 2, 2010).

The Woman Who Could Talk to Engineers...

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

She - Interpreter - He.

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

Henry the amazing talking dog.

"It lost a little something in translation."

Second lifeReal life.

'Would everyone please phrase their questions in ones and zeros please.'

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

The Family Joules: Part 6

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

"My Blackberry will get in touch with your Blackberry."

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."