Tech-speak Comedians Pillows

"We've been married 32 years. How can you possibly still be in beta?"

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Screen Time vs Book Time

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"Darn autocorrect!"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Chef copy robot

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

'Now where's my Tibbles got to?'

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

I've always been slower than computers...

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

"That guys is stealing my data!"

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

'It's a snow mobile.'

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'