Tech-savvy Youth Gifts

"If it were today"

"Enough with the hard-luck stories about spanking and cursive and appointment television, Dad."

"Delete that."

"That's a clock? Where does it display the time?"

Young man, what have I told you about texting during family dinnertime?

'Yeah. I just texted them to you.'

'Mom and dad were really spoiled. They never had to worry about recharging their phones.'

'Since we modified your daughter's digital cellular structure, she's experienced a lot of ringing in her ears. If you need me to check her status, I'll be on call.'

"Do you have any birthday cards written in 'Text'? That's all my grandson can read."

"Bikes! I said bikes! Hello? Hello? Dang! My battery's dead!"

"How much will all this spelling and punctuation help me with texting?"

"You were right, mom. Coming to this playground was a good idea. I get a better signal up here."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'I've told you it's not the old pencil and paper battleships.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

Text Culture

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"Knapsack? It's a solar-powered, bluetooth, Wi-Fi, self-charging, two shoulder GenPak with smartphone charger and GPS."

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"This is NOT what I meant when I said you kids could have more screen time."

Social Networking.

"I'm asking you to write your name on the board. Surely you don't need your smart phone to help you spell your name!"

Soccer kids texting

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'