Tech-savvy Mourner Pillows

"The ringing has stopped, someone's answered it!"

Klimt Kiss Phones

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

Mark Anthony on Zoom.

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

"A virus ate my homework."

'Long distance romances in the twenty first century.'

'Young Love'

'My teacher said my penmanship has really improved since I started doing my homework on an inkjet printer.'

"Do you...enter name...take...enter name...to be your...choose one from the pull down menu...click the I do icon now please."

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

"Fresh pepper?"

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

'Please pay attention. Pretend I'm a movie on your phone.'

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

Microwave confusion.

"Hang on. . . I think I've got an app for that."

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

'I've deleted my on-line homework teacher three times but he won't go away.'

'I want you to text message 100 times, 'I will not text message in class.''

'The vast potential of stem cells...and we use them to make a hamburger!'

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

"Would you agree to change our Facebook status to married?"

Frittering a Banana by Electricity.

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

"He hasn't been the same since his phone died."

Arachnid Research Lab. I don't need to actually be here all the time, I use a web cam!

"Now remember this formula, it's going to be on the test."

"So - we meet at last."

'To learn more about me, swipe my forehead with your smart phone.'