Tech-savvy Medic Gifts

'According to the films, it appears I've left an instrument inside you. Luckily, I can fix that in Photoshop.'

'The Electronic Health Records software works very well. I entered the patient's medications, vitals, and allergies. The software calculated the course of treatment, projected outcome, and anticipate insurance reimbursement.'

Telephone consultations worked but maybe TEXT consultations were a step too far...Does anyone recognise 'fngx stre pink' as a symptom?.

"Ok, so now we know that turning it off and back on again, doesn't work for life support machines."

'That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my computer.'

No cell phones!

'The new automated systems have cut patient appointment times in half!'

Telephone consultations worked but maybe TEXT consultations were a step too far...Does anyone wrecognise 'fngx pink' as a symptom?

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

'Is he second screening my screening?'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

"My telemedical surgeon says we need to operate!"

'Brain surgery app.'

"We just got a new computer system, so don't be surprised if your colonoscopy shows up on YouTube."

'Turn the camera off! Turn off the web cam!'

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

'Still no improvement? Nurse, attach more gizmos.'

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

Jury Selection Today. Have any of you been friended by the defendant on Facebook?

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

Teacher removes 'School Paper' sign and replaces it with 'School Blog' sign.

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

I'm just dying to try out this new Rorschach app! ?

"Raise your right hand and swear on the tablet..."

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

"We're running late. Skip the brief, just give me the tweet."

"I'm referring you to a doctor with different software."