Tech-savvy Jewelers Pillows

'It's one of our new technology rings, it allows you to download karats.'

Right click for yes...

'No, I'm not being tracked by scientists, just by my wife...'

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

"If anyone has googled reasons that these two should not be married..."

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

"I now pronounce you man and wife - do you wish to save these changes?"

"...and if you both can successfully complete this CAPTCHA, we'll continue with the vows."

Dancing to Mobile Tunes

'Norbert, he's playing our ring tone.'

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

Giggle.

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

"Replying with a heart emoji to a cat video I posted on Facebook is not the same as telling me you love me."

"Why is there an ad for Jay-Z in the New England Journal of Pediatric Medicine?!"

'I just e-mailed you, 'good night,' but it got bounced back, so, good night.'

Friday night was always sext night.

"Ah, here it is - the Wedding Service app."

"Zoom says we have connectivity issues..."

Then and now: great readers are now great viewers.

Internet wedding - 'Apparently, you get a 40% discount if you marry on-line...'

"The nice thing about being married is that I no longer feel obligated to like your posts."

"Oh, David! He's playing our ring tone!"

"Just so you know ahead of time, I have a whole new set of angry emojis I'm willing to unleash on you."

"Let's just say that you're not trending on any site on the internet!"

"But the two of us sitting here surfing the internet isn't 'going somewhere together'. . ."

Requiem

My wife doesn't understand my text messages.

'I'm sorry, we no longer accept cash for transactions.'

Internet baby adoption.

"There! I've deleted you from my database!"

'you know, if you followed my tweets you'd know what we're having for dinner.'