Tech-savvy Holiday Planner Gifts

'It's a letter to Santa...'-'Can you just text him?'

With so many people doing their Christmas shopping online, the Salvation Army has had to try a new strategy with its bell ringers.

'How things have changed Mr Twinkle.'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Airlines

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Mr. Punch in Venice

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

Italia tours

Heading off with a packed bag

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'We must have everything... this is all that's left!'

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

'Let it go, Amy.'

"We can't go. We don't have enough carbon offset credits to get to the Grand Canyon."

"Well, all I know is he left on vacation to unwind... and he never wound-up again!"

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

Moths fly to Blackpool for illuminations: 'I'm telling you, you're gonna love it.'

"Don't worry, darling! I've set something up so the kids don't get bored on the trip."

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

'If that's my wife, pencil her in for Boxing Day.'