Tech-savvy Holiday Planner Pillows

'It's a letter to Santa...'-'Can you just text him?'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Airlines

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

Mr. Punch in Venice

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Italia tours

Heading off with a packed bag

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

Man on beach realizes laying down flattens his stomach

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'We must have everything... this is all that's left!'

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

"We can't go. We don't have enough carbon offset credits to get to the Grand Canyon."

'Let it go, Amy.'

"Well, all I know is he left on vacation to unwind... and he never wound-up again!"

"Don't worry, darling! I've set something up so the kids don't get bored on the trip."

'I'm tired of sitting and staying.'

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"What happened to the good old Jewish holidays when all we used to do was eat?"

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

Moths fly to Blackpool for illuminations: 'I'm telling you, you're gonna love it.'

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'