Tech-savvy Family Gifts

'I'm too tired to listen to a story tonight, mom. Just e-mail something and I'll read it tomorrow.'

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'It used to be enough to keep them fed and clothed. Now it's fed, clothed and connected.'

'Look dear, he wants his first upgrade.'

'Mom, I need a push.'

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

"I thought I told you two never to leave the house without your helmet cams."

'Mom! - Kevin's looking at me on Google Earth!'

"You'll have to excuse your father. He's a victim of a deepfake campaign."

"I downloaded the parental control app, but they're still not doing what I want them to do."

Virtual Beach

"No, copy and paste has nothing to do with you being twins."

"Why don't you just click 'Save Changes' after you change his diaper?"

"I guess that's so she can store one in the cloud as back-up."

"I did my bit, I stopped dicking around on my phone and came outside to play. The least you could do is show me how to turn this thing on!"

'No dad, it's not so much me being brilliant on the computer. it's you being thick.'

'Your punishment will be restricted TV viewing for a week. Now show me how to work the parental controls.'

"And what's your domain name?"

Honest, D-D-Dad. My homework's "in the cloud."

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

'I told you to invite a friend over.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

The Digital Family