Tech-savvy Dieter Gifts

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

Computer: 'You-are-spending-too-much-time-interfacing-with-food'

'It's called the 'Phone Diet.' but I don't think it works. I've been pressing the 'Pound' key all day and haven't lost a single one.'

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

"...there, I found it. Stellar! I love this nutrition app!"

"Not bad, but it has a sort of plastic aftertaste."

"Fresh pepper?"

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'The chef is just making your cheesecake now, sir.'

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

"Something photogenic for each of us."

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

"No, I'm not able to transplant your computer's antivirus software into your body. Try washing your hands more often."

"I wanted crisps but this assessed my body mass index and gave me an apple ..."

'Here's to romantic candlelight dinners and infared technology.'

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

"I'm texting my compliments to the chef!"

"Bad news Dad, I've just received an e-Alert: The farmer's wife has downloaded a "Coq au Vin" recipe..."

"To be honest it's not char-grilled, it's actually hydrogen-fluoride lasered chicken."

"Eating less and exercising more. . . It's the only thing that works but how can we monetise it?"

Data Processing Center.

"I see what I want to eat. Where do I click 'add to cart'?"

'I want you to hack into our competitor's computer systems and steal their recipe for apple crisp.'

Restaurant Apps of the Deep

3 D printing (Mille Feuille)

Expected Wait: 6 Texts, 3 Tweets, 2 Emails.

"Is this a trick question?"

Waiter, there's a wireless earbud phone in my soup.

"Latest in Microwave Technology."