Tech-savvy Cousin Pillows

'Every time a phone dies, he buries it.'

'Morning coffee? Now there's an app for everything.'

Connected to Technology

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

The Digital Family

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

'Look dear, he's burning his first illegal download to rewritable dvd'

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

'So tell me again. Why can't you sit on the eggs and tweet at the same time?'

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

Virtual Beach

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'