Tech-savvy Caregivers Pillows

"In addition to a name for his birth certificate, would you like him to reserve an email address and a cell phone number for him?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

The Digital Family

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

Typewriters and Laptops.

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

Facelift Book.

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

'So tell me again. Why can't you sit on the eggs and tweet at the same time?'

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

"Dog toys are really getting high tech."

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

'Social media makes things so much easier to be a gossip."

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

"Go ask your search engine."