Tech-savvy Healthcare Provider Pillows

"I'm referring you to a doctor with different software."

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

'No, I'm not being tracked by scientists, just by my wife...'

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

I'm just dying to try out this new Rorschach app! ?

We don't use pink slips anymore. Just press 'delete' for Henderson and Philips.

Have you considered using email?

Employee performance review software.

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

"The nice thing about being married is that I no longer feel obligated to like your posts."

'It says here that machine learning finds fake news with 88% accuracy. I think from now on I really need to edit my reports before I turn them in.'

My wife doesn't understand my text messages.

"The healthcare industry has made a lot of advances in billing technology."

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

"Take two aspirin and text me in the morning."

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"

"Stiff neck, blurred vision, and Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, all due to extended time in front of a computer. I think I just discovered the ICD-10 code for my job!"

'That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my computer.'

"There! I've deleted you from my database!"

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

'Don't worry about the workload. The boss upgraded the computer.'

'I feel a lot better! I hacked into your computer and reduced my insurance co-pay.'

"How's the computer analysis going?"

'You must learn to text each other more.'