Tech-savvy Health Professionals Pillows

'I have your lab results on my tablet - just let me finish this game first.'

'No, I'm not being tracked by scientists, just by my wife...'

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

"It's good to be able to recognize everyone."

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

'Talk about high-tech! You'll be getting a pacemaker ipod combo.'

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

NHS computer: Kaput.

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

Have you considered using email?

"Raise your right hand and swear on the tablet..."

Employee performance review software.

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

"We're running late. Skip the brief, just give me the tweet."

"The nice thing about being married is that I no longer feel obligated to like your posts."

"I'm referring you to a doctor with different software."

'It says here that machine learning finds fake news with 88% accuracy. I think from now on I really need to edit my reports before I turn them in.'

"Take two aspirin and text me in the morning."

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

Give up Smoking!

"The healthcare industry has made a lot of advances in billing technology."

"Stiff neck, blurred vision, and Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, all due to extended time in front of a computer. I think I just discovered the ICD-10 code for my job!"

'That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my computer.'

"There! I've deleted you from my database!"