Tech-savvy Angels Gifts

Google Heaven and Earth.

"You're not in the database. It must've been a near-death experience."

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

'Things just haven't been the same around here since people starting saving files in the cloud.'

"We're in a dying industry, and you're just sitting there! Well, I'm going to do something about it-I'm starting a Web site."

The Lives of the SaintsThis Week: Frieda Witherspoon

Crystal Ball Plug

"Our father who art at www.heaven.com..."

'Telling me He works in mysterious ways!'

"Why is there an ad for Jay-Z in the New England Journal of Pediatric Medicine?!"

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

"Let's just say that you're not trending on any site on the internet!"

'Romeo, Romeo, wi-fi art thou, Romeo...'

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

"Free wifi and unlimited refills are nice, but frankly, I expected more."

'No, no. That's my old crystal ball. We're going to use my new high-definition model.'

Vanity for the Surveillance Camera

"Two bars—how about you?"

Jesus Saves

'Just sayin' it was a lot more relaxing around here before they invented ‘the Cloud.''

"User name and password?"

'He googles you. That's how God knows everything about you.'

'Click on the icon.'

Prpr 2 Skype thy Mkr.

'Sorry we don't do 'Pay-as-you-ho' contracts'

"And do please remember to visit our online confession service."

"You keep telling me to back up my computer. Well, I can't back it up anymore. It's all the way back to the wall."

"This can't be heaven. There's no free wifi."

'Please enter your sin, followed by the pound sign.'

"Sorry, but you've been 'Unfriended'."

"This model is great. It monitors my heart rate, vitals and counts my blessings."

'How can tweeting be hard for someone so bird-like?'

"What the...no cell phone coverage?"

"Cutting edge stuff, Mrs Bellamy - Cordless Bell Ringing."

"For your penance, text me 400 Hail Marys."