Tech-ready Teacher Gifts

'As a minimal step toward enabling our school's diverse software applications to interact and share data, I want you to organize a staff seminar on how to turn a computer on.'

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

The Digital Family

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

'Early Laptops.'

"Hey! Get back here!"

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

"And every year on this very day...he creeps into camp and steals everyones electronics."

Modern Day Kids Playing 'Telephone'

"Its's a beautiful day. Why don't you play outside?"

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

'So tell me again. Why can't you sit on the eggs and tweet at the same time?'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'Please pay attention. Pretend I'm a movie on your phone.'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'