Tech Protector Gifts

A man panic from concerns about hacking.

"My instinct is to bury things to keep them safe. If you're looking for your phone and computer, they are about 3 feet in the ground. You're welcome."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

Privacy Conference Security

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

Privacy - Surveillance

'More government surveillance!'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

"The sky looks blue because your protective lenses are tinted, dear."

Statue of Security

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"Mr. Miranda....we are using 'schedule 7' to hold you on suspicion of knowing someone who knew someone who was a whistleblower...."

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

"Good afternoon, Ted. I'm your online presence."

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"People were steal his ideas"

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

Domestic Spying Drones

'If someone sent an email and the National Security Agency did not spy on it, would it still be an email?'

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

Hidden Facebook Features

"I only told a few friends."

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

Hope and ______

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

"If that income is personal, why do I have to tell you about it"?

Facial Recognition

'Closing the letter with 'Very fondly yours' seems okay but let's run it by legal, to be sure it cannot be misinterpreted as sexual harassment.'