Tech-phobic Parents Gifts

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

The cell phone soother for life.

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'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

The Digital Family

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

The modern generation!

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

Smartphone Sonogram

Dr. Reynolds unsuccessfully combines night story time with EHR pajama time.

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

'So tell me again. Why can't you sit on the eggs and tweet at the same time?'

Baby cries into a cellphone.

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'