Tech-challenged Parent Gifts

"Since you called me 50 times in a row, I assumed it would be something more important than how to make a smiley face using your keyboard."

"Don't worry. As soon as Junior learns enough words, he'll tell you how to work it."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

The cell phone soother for life.

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

The Digital Family

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"The Internet ate my baby!"

The modern generation!

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

Smartphone Sonogram

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

Dr. Reynolds unsuccessfully combines night story time with EHR pajama time.

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

Baby cries into a cellphone.

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

'So tell me again. Why can't you sit on the eggs and tweet at the same time?'