Parent In The Tech Age Gifts

'She is not Amish, we just wont buy her a cell phone.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

The cell phone soother for life.

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'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

The Digital Family

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

'Have you picked out a domain name, yet?'

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Bless, Poppy's first tweet!"

Smartphone Sonogram

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

The modern generation!

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"The Internet ate my baby!"

Dr. Reynolds unsuccessfully combines night story time with EHR pajama time.

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

Baby cries into a cellphone.

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'