Tech Mishaps Gifts

"We usually shop in the comfort of our own home but the bloody computer crashed."

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

Woman finds something in her soup.

Computers. Tablets. Laptops. The model is entirely voice-activated. I've always wanted to tell a computer "off."

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

'You needn't worry about confidentiality. Your medical records were carefully transferred to computer and accidently trashed.'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

"Sorry about the reception, Lou. I grabbed my enchilada by mistake."

A businessman suffering from data overload.

'Your kinect is broken.'

'The readings look good, but just in case, when was the last time the system was checked for bugs?'

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

Divorce lawyer "Then it's final, you get the computer as you requested and your wifes gets the house, car and everything else"

"I tell you the computer in the hospital made a mistake!"

Aw, dang, grabbed my cell phone.

'My password is 'again'. Whenever I forget my password, the computer message says 'Try again'.'

Turn off your predictive text, Brother Thomas

"You can have all my treats for a week if you promise not to tell anyone I dropped my phone in the toilet."

"You need to get out here – we just had another texting-while-walking mishap."

'My computers down again!'

"Sorry to bother you but I can't ask my son for computer help while he's in a in time out."

Forgot that the return key would actually send the text.

Me dropping the phone into the toilet is your version of events.

'I switched it to a TV cable modem, and now it just watches 'I Love Lucy' all day!'

IRS: 'I haven't filed because my computer's been down since 2007!'

'His pacemaker keeps opening and shutting the garage door.'

"It's another Sicilian message. It means 'Please disregard the previous Sicilian message - it was inadvertently sent to everyone on our list."

'I guess that wasn't the 'HELP' key.'

'You have entered the wrong password. Please hold while we transfer you to klutz support.'

"Bloody satnav is going silly again!"