Tech Mishap Meme Lover Gifts

'You needn't worry about confidentiality. Your medical records were carefully transferred to computer and accidently trashed.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

Woman finds something in her soup.

"What - the customer complaints come in nonstop and the software doesn't work? Pheew... I'm relieved. I feared that something unusual happened today."

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

STRIP Hambone: Using Tippex on a monitor

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

"No, it isn't a mobile. It's my pipe."

STRIP Hambone: Computer smoke signals message from Indian office

"You've got to compress it because my email account is limited to 3MB."

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

Instead of that CD, how about feeding me a nice bagel for a change?

"This tone means the battery is low. This one means you've just driven over a pedestrian. And this one indicates that someone sitting near you in a coffee shop is about to grab your phone and stuff it down your throat!"

"We programmed it to behave exactly like a human... it never stops complaining."

'Don't disturb your father when he's in stand-by mode.'

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

'The number 1 dinner is available in an updated version 1.1.'

Entering silicon valley, speed limit: 110111