Tech Jargon Enthusiast Pillows

"...and another thing...stop referring to me as user-friendly"

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

Pollsters

"No, that's not data pouring from the clouds. That's just rain. Let me explain how cloud technology works again. . ."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

In the Guru District

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

Claus 2.0

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'That's about it so far, Son.'

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Evolution.

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

Gen-Next Library

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"