Tech Jargon Enthusiast Gifts

"...and another thing...stop referring to me as user-friendly"

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

Pollsters

"No, that's not data pouring from the clouds. That's just rain. Let me explain how cloud technology works again. . ."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

In the Guru District

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

Claus 2.0

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

'That's about it so far, Son.'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Evolution.

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."