Tech-enthusiast Healer Pillows

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"I'm going on a retreat."

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"Do you know of any good empathy apps?"

I'm just dying to try out this new Rorschach app! ?

End of world nigh!!!

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

Fortune teller using a computer rather than traditional methods

Bones Reunited

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"

Palm Top Readings

'I believe one of the doctors here practices alternative medicine.'

'That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my computer.'

"The good news is a major company has noticed our website. The bad news is they're accusing us of copyright infringement."

Confession plugged up to an amp.

"I'm going on a retreat."

"How's the computer analysis going?"

"Yes, Mom, I'm just finishing texting my prayers now!"

Binary meditation.

The answers you seek are within yourself. But ok, the capitol of Bulgaria is Sofia. Zen Siri.

Telephone consultations worked but maybe TEXT consultations were a step too far...Does anyone recognise 'fngx stre pink' as a symptom?.

'Yep, I'm alone.'

'Just when you think you've reached the final awareness, they send another update.'