Tech-savvy Therapist Pillows

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

Psychiatrist communicating with his patient through computers.

"How's the computer analysis going?"

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

Tangled Earphones Support Group.

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'Please pay attention. Pretend I'm a movie on your phone.'

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

Teacher removes 'School Paper' sign and replaces it with 'School Blog' sign.

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

End of world nigh!!!

"Do you know of any good empathy apps?"

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

"I'm referring you to a doctor with different software."

"I do miss the crystal ball."

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

"Take two aspirin and text me in the morning."

Fortune teller using a computer rather than traditional methods

'Oh, that's my webcam. Probably should have mentioned that at the beginning.'

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"

Error! Lesson Plan has no Aim!

"New tricks CD Rom"

'That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my computer.'

'I need ur homework ASAP!'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"