Tech Disinterests Gifts

I'm not interested in buying new technology. What's wrong with me? Don't worry. I went through a brief period in college where I wasn't attracted to women. I didn't want to date or even have flings. It was a dark, horrible abyss that felt like it would never, ever end! How is this helping? Red Maxim repeatedly until it passes.

"Well what does the GPS say?"

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"Hey! Get back here!"

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

Pensioners and Phones

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

'It isn't that we don't have high technology. We don't have any technology.'

"Someday I'll buy a little place in the country and take my finger off the Zeitgeist."

Internet crap.

"Unfortunately he's just not smart enough to set them up!"

'The professor can read hieroglyphics on ruins and in tombs but he can't read text messages on his cell phone.'

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary - Digitally Mixed - Any drink stirred without the use of a spoon, swizzle stick or any other tool/utensil.

'Letters, letters, letters - why can't you learn to text?'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet...where the hell am I??"

"Every time I say this computer is supposed to be 'user friendly', it lets out an evil laugh."

'Your father can't come to the phone right now, he's stuck in his ways.'

"So what happens now? How do we start the Zoom video call?"

"You need to disconnect for awhile and unwind."

Protection from technology

"Everyone's complaining about the food, the orders are all mixed up...what's going on back here, anyway?"

'Well it wasn't obsolete when I started trying to get through to your helpline.'

There were disadvantages to the 24 hours communications revolution.

Two week's rehearsing vicious phone revenge were just sucked dry by 5 minutes of menu options.

"OK, Zoomer"

'Stop following me. I want to be incommunicado!'

The Thumbs Have Had Enough: "I'm, like, hello, we evolved so you could pick stuff up, not so you could scroll yourself into oblivion!"