Tech Confusion Survivors Gifts

"If the jumper cables don't work, I'll pour more motor oil on the keys."

Computer Room.

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

Man leaving his office with his computer tangled around his leg,

'This Power Point slide has a dynamic layout comparing reading scores throughout the district, which you would have seen if I remembered to bring a spare projection bulb.

Tech Support/Counseling for Anxiety caused by tech-support.

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

God creates humans.

'Technology hasn't saved me any money. I'm now supporting those relatives of mine they replaced.'

'Sorry guys! But i'm afraid we're going to have to shoot this segment again. The darn tape just ran out!'

"I'm sorry to trouble you yet again with internet issues."

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

'Your last tech job offered generous options? So do we: Take it or leave it.'

"I'm certainly no expert on the matter, but throwing the copier out the window just may be a sign you're suffering from stress."

A businessman suffering from data overload.

'I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. How do you expect me to remember another bloody password!?'

"What a time for it to go on the bunk!"

"I think I see your problem."

"Yes I DO mind being put on hold! I only have a two week life span."

STRIP Hambone: Living in the box the computer who replaced him came in

'...and we've converted this room into a home office.'

"A glitch in production - everyone gets a prune omelette with sardines."

(Dart! ….. I pressed the button for instructions in Spanish!)

I'm on live chat support, phone support, email support and text support - and they all have me on hold.

Finally, as one Systems Designer to another....

'Lord, NO! Take me instead!'

"You can have all my treats for a week if you promise not to tell anyone I dropped my phone in the toilet."

"Tech support say I should switch it off, leave the building and never come back!"

Forgot that the return key would actually send the text.