Teasing Aficionado Gifts

"The following program is intended for mature viewers. So, Ed, you should leave the room now."

Boss Impressionist.

'Quit referring to me as a Low Rider.'

"Call me?"

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

Sitting in a tree

Mantis Love

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

Valentine Day

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

Love Birds love just being together

"Stupid – yet irresistible."

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

'The mask?... Oh, I always try to obscure my face a little, at parties. Just to give the other guys a fighting chance.'

Love in Boom

Banana Smoothie

You just keep giving.

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

Woman and a Mexican hat.

"Wow, you look sexy today."

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

'I'm developing a foot fetish.'

Sex Section in the Library

'The gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you an aphrodisiac.'

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'

"Hi!- standards need lowering?"

"Oh Darling, you're spoiling me! I've never tried tropical fish!"

I can't bear to be without you.

'I even love the way you snore!'

"There are 206 bones in your body...How would you like one more?"